Daniela Knaan
UX/UI Designer at - Adobe
So it was the end of November and I suddenly missed my period. It was only two months after I had stopped breastfeeding our second child and I did not expect it to happen so fast…Anyway, when I took the pregnancy test I was already kind of sure what the outcome would be since I had started to feel a little weird… and – surprise, surprise, pregnant!
There was going to be another summer baby! All of our kids are born in summer- my favorite season of the year!
Feeling sick…
So with the surprise of being pregnant and the joy of having a third child, there came morning sickness- or should I say ” all-day-long-sickness”?
With my first child, I felt nothing, did not even recognize I was pregnant for two months since I had been on the pill, and thought there was no period because my body was still readjusting. Anyway- I had a dream of a first pregnancy. No complaints.
During my second pregnancy I was sick a lot but almost never had to through up. And terrible heartburn. Only at week 16, I remember I started to feel better.
And this time? Well, I read that sickness gets worse with every pregnancy, and this one seems to be true. I would feel sick 24/7. In the evening after dinner, it would get so bad I preferred to go to sleep with my kids just so I would not suffer anymore. Many many times I had to through up. And the fatigue…
Literally, nothing I tried would help. Eating frequent but small meals, crackers, drinking ginger tea… nothing. And the metallic taste!
There were better and worse days, but altogether I just wanted this first trimester to be over as soon as possible!
Food craving
The good thing is. sickness does not prevent me from eating – no, the hunger makes me even sicker and more, during the process of eating I even feel well. The only problem is- at this first time of pregnancy the things I want to eat come to my mind very suddenly. So I would be at work and suddenly want to eat potato salad or pasta! It is really important for me and my well-being to listen to my body and whenever it is possible I really eat what I want to at the same moment.
Boy or girl?
So of course it is not the most important thing to know what gender our baby is. But we start wondering anyway. During this pregnancy, I prefer spicy and well-seasoned food and do not care much about sweets, like in my first pregnancy- with a boy. With my daughter, second pregnancy, I used to eat cooked potatoes all the time and would prefer sweets over food in most cases.
But is this really an indication of anything? Well, we do not know yet, since at week 12 we saw a boy and at week 16 we saw a girl!
Looks like our baby wants to surprise us this time and I am okay with that. Smiling to myself and wondering.
How is being pregnant when you already have children?
The truth is, pregnant with our first baby we almost have nothing else in mind but the new pregnancy. I remember finding myself sitting with my hand on my belly (even before there was one). daydreaming and smiling to myself… And further- we still have the luxury to rest whenever we want! nobody screaming “Mama…anything ” just silence or good music and a book. Together with a tidy and clean home… Well, things are about to change!
With my second pregnancy, my son was three years old, already quite grown up and responsible, so it was a lot of fun to talk to him about the pregnancy, about the baby we would soon have… That is another aspect of being pregnant when you already have kids. It was very interesting to hear and answer all of his questions- in the end, he wanted to hear very specifically where the baby was going to come out of my body, which left me kind of speechless the first time he asked…
So this time for the third time pregnant, my boy is in first grade and my daughter is only two years old. She still wears diapers and is in her toddler “terrible twos” mostly knowing the words ” I want” or “no”. And I can tell you, this is a whole different story here…Being tired and sick most of the time is not something a toddler could possibly understand! She does not have to, also. It is not her fault I am pregnant and she has the right to have a “functioning” mother… So you force yourself to playtime, trying to forget about sickness and fatigue, you change diapers and pretend not to smell anything, you cook for your family and you clean the house even if you feel like you are going to pass out any moment… It is exhausting. Mentally and physically.
Why it is important to make time to focus on our pregnancy
With all this, how can I possibly find the time to relax for one moment and concentrate on the baby inside me? The answer is not to find the time, the answer is to make it. I do it with prenatal yoga, but there are other ways, too. You just have to make it happen. Your well-being is important for your unborn baby. Your relaxation does her good and your focusing and being happy about her is crucial for a mentally healthy pregnancy as much as exercising and healthy nutrition. Having this in mind, do not let your pregnancy go under in your everyday routine and stressful life! Yours creating new life is the most amazing and incredible thing and it has to be celebrated! Even if it is only a few moments a day, have those moments of celebration for yourself, smile and remember- you are amazing.
Are fatigue and sickness a matter of age?
Before I even had children I often heard people talking about pregnancy and the right age. Well, what is the right age for pregnancy? Biologically after the age of 27 we already become less fertile, and the older we get the higher the chance of complications or miscarriage. But today, which woman is ready to have all her children by the age of 30, and does it really make a difference about how we feel while being pregnant? I decided to ask! And this year a lot of women I know had a baby or are currently pregnant like me, I got a lot of answers… I know that a group of maybe 10 women of all ages do not give an indication about what is really true, but the outcome was enough for me: Every woman pregnant with her third child between the age of 24 and 34 explained she experienced excessive fatigue and more sickness compared to earlier pregnancies. And the women pregnant with their first child in their early thirties ranged from almost no complaints to being hospitalized due to excessive vomiting. So what can we say once again? Every woman is different and every pregnancy is unique- but for my part, I am sure that the number of pregnancies a woman has experienced does have an influence and so does the fact of raising other children at home while being pregnant
Another child after this one?
I am 22 weeks pregnant now, and things got better. The arrival of spring helps. The thought about child no 4 I once used to have… well, I kind of abandoned this one. I always wanted a large family as I grew up with only one sister. But the thought of 3 little children and me being pregnant has become quite unbearable. For the sake of our family’s well-being, I think I should close this chapter in my life. For the sake of having more quality time with my children and my husband who is not very thrilled about me going to sleep at 8 pm with the kids for the last three months… And maybe even for myself, hoping to somehow, when having time for myself again.
