Breastfeeding for comfort- Normal and even beneficial!

Daniela Knaan

UX/UI Designer at - Adobe

I breastfed three kids to the age of two years. I was a human pacifier about a hundred times. To me, it is the most normal, and convenient thing to do, while they are teething, sick, in growth spurts, or just to calm and comfort them.

It never felt like the wrong thing to do…

And yet, apparently, there is always discussion about whether it is good or bad to nurse your baby or toddler just for comfort.

Honestly, I have to admit that with my first baby, I had no idea that this was even a thing. He just wanted to feed all day long during the first three months of his life. And I thought he was hungry all the time!

The difference between nutritive and non-nutritive sucking

Once you get an idea, it is quite easy to understand if and when your baby is feeding for comfort, and when they are feeding because they are hungry. The two different kinds of sucking are called nutritive and non-nutritive. It is important to understand that non-nutritive does not mean your baby is not getting any milk at all-they are in fact getting a little bit of milk, only that getting milk is not the main purpose during this kind of sucking.

When your baby is feeding because they are hungry, and there is nothing wrong with your milk transfer, you will notice that your baby will have a rhythm of suck-swallow or, suck-suck-swallow.

But when they are nursing for comfort, it will be about five sucks until they will swallow, and sometimes really light sucking also called flutter-sucking. Just like with an artificial pacifier.

What is important during the first few months

During the first months, and especially during the first few weeks of a newborn, it is important to make sure that there is no problem with your milk transfer, and/or with the latch of your baby. It is certainly normal that newborn babies cluster feed, or want to nurse all day long, both for comfort, and for nutrition, but it would not be okay if your baby is constantly nursing because they don`t get enough milk since there is a certain problem.

So watch out for the following:

correct latch and good milk transfer
suck-swallow rhythm when feeding
enough wet diapers (5-6 a day)
at least three bowel movements a day during the first six weeks
weight gain

The benefits of comfort feeding

Breastfeeding has so much more to it than just being the perfect nutrition for your baby! When you breastfeed, you bond deeply with your baby. Your holding and warmth make them feel safe, secure, and loved.

Breastmilk has sleep-inducing hormones, and their concentration is strongest in the evening, so babies can fall asleep more easily.

Breastfeeding has also been shown to have a strong effect on pain relief, so when your baby is teething or sick, we should not wonder why they want to nurse so much!

Are you spoiling your kid?

Who has not heard those accusations of overfeeding or spoiling our baby or toddler by letting them nurse for comfort!?

“Your kid is never going to sleep on their own!” Or that they have to learn to deal with stuff differently. Well, without reading any studies on that, just using one`s common sense, one will understand that a kid is probably not going to nurse to sleep at the age of 10.

Being responsive to our children is never spoiling them. The needs and opinions of our kids are so often underestimated, and we tend to believe that we know everything better than them, just because we are grown-ups.

But in fact, responding to our children`s needs, listening to them, and giving them the feeling that they are valued and that we take their needs seriously, teaches them self-esteem and builds a relationship of deep trust.

There are several studies showing that breastfed babies are more securely attached than non-breastfed babies. There are suggestions that this fact is a result of breastfeeding moms being more responsive to their babies.

Nursing to sleep

And until you or your kid is ready to wean, it is biologically totally normal and okay, and even meant to be, that you nurse your baby or toddler to sleep. Babies relax deeply while nursing, and even though it seems in the beginning that they can fall asleep only while nursing, this way they develop a healthy attitude towards sleep as a safe, secure state they can easily slip into. Not the kind of attitude they would develop when left alone and afraid. So this way the foundation for healthy sleep association is already set for later.

There is always a reason for things that nature intended to be in a certain way. If a baby wasn`t supposed to nurse to sleep then why DO they actually fall asleep during their night feed? How can something feel so natural and meant to be -be wrong? The simple answer is- it can`t.

And for those asking themselves about attachment issues- those kids who have a strong hold at home, who are loved by their parents, and who have their needs answered, will grow to be responsible, independent adults with great self-esteem.

In fact, also co-sleeping has shown a positive effect on growing independent children.

Conclusion

Many times, when we feel bad about a situation, it is not the situation itself that causes those feelings, but the associations, insecureness about it, or the reaction of others. So if we can lay those aside because we know that we are doing good for our child, maybe there is really nothing to be upset about?

It is not always easy to nurse for comfort. I know the feeling when I am about to put my kids to sleep, waiting for my alone time, and the baby is nursing like FOREVER.

But it won`t really last forever, and before we even know it, they will be grown. Happens all too fast. Until then, be happy that you have the greatest tool EVER for comforting your baby!

Any experience with comfort nursing you would like to share?