If Breastfeeding is so Natural then why doesn`t it feel that way?
Of all my friends and family who had a baby not one would describe breastfeeding as easy. When I had my first child I was also quickly pulled out of the imaginary picture of myself sitting peacefully in our garden and breastfeeding a totally calm and content baby. There was a lot of cluster feeding and there were a lot of feelings of unsureness, fear, and worries…
But eventually, I nursed my firstborn for one year and 10 months, exclusively for the first six months. My second baby for two years and one month, and now my third is eleven months and I am not planning to stop until her second birthday… so all added together I have been nursing on and off for almost five years now!
In the beginning, breastfeeding was painful because of the sitting all day after vaginal birth, and because of my sore nipples.
The worries about being able to do everything right would not leave me.
And finally -the feeling of this little creature being dependent all on me was new and heavy.
My husband was very supportive, but he was almost the only one and I wish I had had someone tell me that the challenges I was facing were common and actually possible to overcome …
So over time, with my own experiences, and those of friends and recently my own sister, there is a lot I would like to share and discuss…
Common Challenges and Their Solutions
1. Lack of knowledge
If you don`t know why breastfeeding is important and what benefits it has both for you and your baby, it might be not important enough for you to fight for it. I actually talked to some women who thought that formula was as good or even better than breastmilk! Not all women really seek the right information, but instead, get their knowledge from what they hear here and there.
Solution:
Talk to a lactation consultant at best before you leave the hospital. She can give you all the right information and explain what you need to know to make it worth the struggle!
2. Lack of support
Maybe you want to nurse but your friends and or family or part of them is unsupportive. This can have a huge impact on the success of breastfeeding. It causes you additional stress to defend and explain yourself and try to convince your surrounding of something you are also unsure of. The stress and worries and physical demand breastfeeding brings along is already enough to handle. To produce enough milk you need physical and mental rest. In addition, if every time you need to feed your baby you get those looks or feel that people around you are annoyed, you will quickly get uncomfortable yourself and sooner or later switch to bottle feeding.
Solution
If you want to breastfeed despite an unsupportive environment you probably have your reasons. Be strong and explain them once and for all to everybody. Ask them very clearly to not interfere with something that is your responsibility and choice. You are the mom, you decide what is good for you and your baby.
If it is your partner who is unsupportive, have a talk together in which you explain kindly why you want to breastfeed. Gather all the right and important information and even arrange for him to listen to your lactation consultant. It is important that the issue is explained and solved at once and that there is no constant discussion about it.
3. Latch problems
As natural as breastfeeding might seem, mother and baby, both need to learn it first! A wrong latch is very painful and leads to sore nipples. In addition, your baby probably won`t get enough milk which will lead to more frequent nursing and even more sore nipples. A never-ending circle…
Solution
Let a lactation consultant have a look at you while nursing. She will help your baby latch on right. You can also watch videos and try different breastfeeding poses to find out what works for you both.
4. Tongue-tie
About 10% of all newborns have a so-called tongue tie which makes it difficult to impossible for them to suck. Signs of that condition are fussiness while trying to nurse or turning away from the nipple.
Solution:
A lactation consultant may find out if your baby has a tongue tie. Your pediatrician then will confirm and decide if there is a need for correction or if with some practice your baby will learn to latch on despite the condition.
5. Sore Nipples
In the beginning, breastfeeding is painful. It takes time to learn to let your baby latch on correctly, and when he or she doesn`t, your nipples get sore, crack, or even bleed. in addition, babies nurse very frequently or even cluster fee which makes it difficult for once-sore nipples to heal. The constant pain is hard and we start asking ourselves if it is going to hurt forever. For me, it took one and a half months (!) with all three babies until we had a proper latch really every time, and I would feel no more pain while nursing.
Solution:
Have a lactation consultant teach you to latch on to your baby correctly. Let your nipples air-dry and put on some nipple cream after you are finished.
Be patient and practice, breastfeeding is not the only hard and painful thing to struggle through in life, but it is definitely one of the most worth doing!
6. You think you have a low supply
In the first couple of days, you have colostrum so your breasts probably won`t feel heavy and full. Your milk needs a few days to come in and that is perfectly normal! Don`t be surprised if you try to pump and get nothing out, your baby`s sucking is more effective and a newborn has a really tiny stomach so he drinks small amounts but frequently… After a few days, your milk will come in and in most cases, your milk supply adjusts itself to the demand of your baby.
Solution
Rest and take care of yourself. Eat and drink well and get enough sleep to give your body the chance to produce. Check out my list of everyday power foods in the following article!
Try and rely on your body and its ability to feed your newborn. It is supposed to be this way, and if you try and add bottles you might interfere with the demand and supply balance. Be patient even if there is a lot of cluster feeding in the beginning. There are really few women who cannot breastfeed because of insufficient supply.
7. Very full breasts and/or clogged ducts
As soon as the milk comes in you may feel that your breasts are very heavy. My second child, a girl, used to sleep for 3-4 hours after feedings and I would have such full breasts, it was difficult for her and her tiny mouth to latch correctly. Often, this can lead to clogged ducts which are very painful. A clogged duct can be also stress-related and can become mastitis.
Solution
Feed your baby frequently and let him or her drain the breast completely. You might pump if your full breast makes a proper latch difficult or if you already have a clogged duct. I always found it easier to drain a clogged duct with a pump because it is much faster and gives immediate relief.
Don`t overdo anything. Everybody reacts differently to stress and during postpartum and while breastfeeding we are initially sensitive to anything that could get us out of balance.
8. Exhaustion
Especially with your first baby, it can be really exhausting to breastfeed in the beginning. With a whole new situation and after giving birth for the first time, my body and mind are hurting, and all mixed up by the sudden change of hormones. Add the lack of sleep and many moms are in a state of exhaustion very quickly.
Solution
Rest whenever you can. Sleep when the baby is asleep even if it is totally inconvenient and in the middle of the day.
Don`t be ashamed to ask for help! Everyone likes to help a new mom. Let the housework be and if you don`t have someone to cook for you, order in. Right now, nothing is more important than your and the baby`s health, and the first time is crucial for breastfeeding success!
9. Freedom and independence are gone…
Being a Mom is one of the most fulfilling things in life. But having a baby is challenging and demands a lot. During the first time, we totally give up our own needs and live on the baby`s schedule. This is hard and the loss of independence and freedom takes time to adjust.
Solution
Be patient. The human being is built to get used to things and adjust. In the beginning, it might be hard, but over time the joy of your little baby and the amazing experience of feeding and growing a little human being with YOUR OWN BODY will outweigh everything else.
Conclusion
So many challenges for something that is supposed to work naturally and smoothly. It will, in the end, but not without some struggle and fighting. It is on you to make the effort to overcome the obstacles, there is a solution to every one of them. The first three months may be a rollercoaster ride, but if you make it there, it becomes easier every day until eventually it really will start to feel natural and enjoyable!
What was or is your biggest challenge in breastfeeding? How did you cope with it?